April 06, 2013

VI Aprilis: Scenarii

Patrick Marren
Partner

Scenarios of the future! If you thought of them before they actually, you know, occurred on April 6 in previous years. 

1199: Richard I Coeur de Lion (Lionheart) dies in the arms of his mother after being struck by a crossbow wielded, according to some sources, by a boy in the small castle he is storming during his war to reconquer Normandy. Richard was storming said puny castle, Chalus-Chabral, either because it contained a cache of Roman gold, or just because. Richard had to reconquer Normandy because he had left England almost nine years previously to go on a Crusade against Saladin alongside Philip, King of France, who is plotting with Richard's brother John back in England to retake French territory from Richard. On the way Richard occupies Sicily and conquered Cyprus, displacing other Christian despots and annoying their patrons (among them some of his allies). Richard fails to take Jerusalem, and he has heard that his brother John and Philip of France are plotting against him. So he negotiates a truce with Saladin on September 2, 1192, and is sailing home when he is shipwrecked near Aquileia (between Trieste and Venice). Crossing German lands in the guise of pilgrims, Richard and his retinue are taken prisoner by Duke Leopold V of Austria, who is angry for several reasons at Richard. (He thinks that Rich has killed his cousin Conrad of Montferrat after Conrad was elected King of Jerusalem, plus Richard's men had torn down their alleged ally Leopold's standard while besieging Acre and thrown it into the moat.) Richard remains imprisoned in Austria by Leopold until February 4, 1194; Philip of France sends a message to the usurper John, "Look to yourself; the devil is loose." Nonetheless, Richard forgives John when he gets home and even names him his heir; then he immediately leaves to go reconquer his lost French lands, and never returns, thanks to the little archer who nailed him in the shoulder-neck area. Richard spends just 6 months of his 10-year reign in England. He speaks two variants of French; he is supposed to have said that England was "cold and always raining;" and also, "I would have sold London if I thought I could find a buyer." (Now you know where all the scripts of "Revenge" come from - simple Search and Replace of medieval history texts.)

1320: The Scots reaffirm their independence with the Declaration of Arbroath, but it doesn't take because a dire phlegm shortage makes it impossible to transmit the Declaration accurately from the borderlands to the Shetlands.

1830: The Church of Christ, later renamed the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, is organized in Fayette or Manchester, NY. 

1909: Robert Peary and Matthew Henson are (allegedly) the first human beings to reach the North Pole.

1917: The United States declares war on Germany.

1926: Varney Airlines makes its first commercial flight, a mail flight from Pasco, WA to Elko, NV, with a stop in its home hub of Boise. Between 4,000 and 6,000 people cheer the departure of the Swallow biplane from Pasco, a rail hub in south central Washington state, with 237 pounds of mail. Eventually Varney will be acquired by United Air Transport, a holding company; in 1934, Varney is merged with Pacific Air Transport, Boeing Air Transport, and National Air Transport to form United Airlines. Eventually, United Airlines will become a client of the predecessor organization of the Futures Strategy Group, LLC; a decade later it is the largest airline in the world. (We do not claim direct cause and effect.) 

(Source: Wikipedia)

Thoughts?